Historians will tell us that the practice of gift-giving goes back to the earliest times of civilization. Despite the different ways it has manifested itself in various cultures and time periods, gift-giving has been as much a part of our lives as eating and breathing. You don’t have to be a historian or psychologist to figure out why this practice has survived the test of time- it’s a powerful way to express feelings to another person. Gifts allow you to share some of the deepest emotions without saying a word. Keep this in mind if someone you know is going through a cancer journey. Gifts offer us a unique opportunity to come alongside people that can improve their emotional well being and overall health. I’d like to share three specific ways that gifts can help during the trial of cancer.

Gifts open doors even when we are hesitant to walk through them. Let’s face it, when you get the news that someone you know has cancer, you often feel shocked and paralyzed. While battling your own emotions you struggle to figure out what to do. Do you have the opportunity to do something? Do they want their space? Should you respect their privacy during this difficult time? I truly believe that most people want to help, but just don’t know what the appropriate support looks like. If you find yourself in this category, believe me when I say that giving a gift is a monumental form of support. It doesn’t invade private space. It has tangible impacts. But beyond that immediate impact, it also opens doors. I cannot believe the timeliness of this post as I just got word of a fellow teammate whose wife was diagnosed with cancer. I don't know him personally, but the person who does said I should reach out to him. Perhaps if I’d never gone through the journey myself I would have hesitated to get involved. It’s just so hard to meet someone you don’t know at a place so difficult as cancer. But I know better. I know that I don’t have to solve his problems, I don’t have to make him laugh, I simply need to send him a gift and go from there. Gift giving is often the first step you take when walking with someone in need. 

Not only do gifts serve as doors, but they also act as bridges. Sometimes you are not geographically close enough to your loved one to be present with them, gifts are the perfect antidote for such a dilemma. A gift has the ability to close the proximity gap and put you in the room with the patient. As they open the box, read through a card, smell some fresh flowers you are now magically transported into the room with them. We had a shelf in our house where we put all the gifts we received which became a powerful symbol of all the people that we had in our corner. We weren’t alone, we had an army of people that cared about us. And everytime we looked upon that mantle, we received a boost of positive energy, which was often the exact medicine we needed.  The only thing worse than cancer, is going through it alone. So when you participate in gift giving, you are telling the patient that they aren’t on a solitary journey, they have people who are walking alongside them.  Interestingly enough, the bridge works both ways. When a patient receives a gift from a loved one, they can also be transported back to that part of their life. Cancer patients' lives have been significantly altered, and any bridge back to their previous life can provide emotional relief. They yearn for the life they once knew. When you send a gift, it creates an avenue back to normalcy.

Finally, gifts have the ability to serve as elevators, taking people from the dungeon of dismay to the hallway of hope. When a gift is well thought out, meeting a patient at a point of critical need, it has a magical impact. Sometimes this happens by design, other times a stroke of luck, but either way it is transformative in nature. Nikki often talks about the day she received one of the simplest, yet most meaningful gifts of her entire life. During her treatment she  received a chest port, (a device implanted near the collar bone to receive IV treatment). While it alleviates the need for needles to the arm, it does create a new pain when pressure is applied, such as when a seatbelt is worn. Nikki was describing this procedure on her cancer blog and one of the mothers from Ally’s school happened to be reading it that day. Because of her experience, she knew about the impact of ports and reached out to a non-profit organization for a remedy. To say that Nikki was touched by the gift of a “port pillow” would be an understatement. In fact, when she opened it and realized what it was for, she broke out in tears. This simple hand made pillow said to Nikki, “I know exactly what you’re going through, I’m listening, and I’m here.”  An unsuspecting miracle occurs when the right gift meets a patient at the right time. The emotional boost from a well thought out gift has a tremendous impact on the patient's outlook on life. It elevates them and gives them something to hold onto. 

Hopefully I’ve nudged you along, there isn’t a need to overthink this one. If someone you know has received a cancer diagnosis, if a friend of yours is caring for someone with cancer, if you know of a colleague in the workplace going through treatment- would you consider reaching out to them by sending a gift? Your gift can bring a smile in a dark season. We often hear about the value of “being present”, particularly when we are helping someone in need. Is it a coincidence that often the best way to be present is to send someone a present? Whether serving as a door, a bridge or an elevator, your gift has transformative power beyond the scope of your imagination. C’mon, go for it!